“They Said It”

“You can close more business in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get people interested in you.”  ~ Dale Carnegie

He wasn’t talking about Management By Strengths, but Dale Carnegie’s statement accurately summarizes the essence of the MBS program.  Focusing on the other person and working with them correctly is an effective way to get results.

Many sales people will instinctively try to tune into the customer. They get results when they meet the customers’ needs.  Applying the same strategy in other areas will also yield results.
 

“Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is progress; working together is success.” ~ Henry Ford

You already have established relationships … a beginning.

Progress takes effort. MBS is a tool that will enable you to make progress improving relationships. Enhanced teamwork is a significant benefit when implementing the principles taught in the MBS class. You must apply what you’ve learned.

Working together is success! If you don’t see immediate results, persevere. Success is worth having and nothing worth having comes without effort.
 

“Get a good idea and stay with it. Dog it, and work with it until it’s done, and done right.”  ~ Walt Disney

Don’t give up. You came out of the MBS session with great ideas for improving relations with your co-workers, family members, customers or friends. As you sat listening in the class, you thought of SOMEONE that you could apply the MBS principles with. So do it … no excuses.

Don’t give up. Don’t allow the principles that you believed in class go unimplemented outside of class.
 

“The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining.” ~ John F. Kennedy

Don’t wait for a relationship to deteriorate due to misunderstandings. If someone is getting on your nerves, act NOW. Don’t wait until there is a confrontation; don’t wait for the storm. It will be easier to repair a relationship if you are still speaking to each other.

Also, don’t limit using your MBS skills to those people that you feel uncomfortable with, but rather strive to apply MBS principles with everyone. Considering another person’s “point of view” will strengthen any relationship.

“How do you eat the elephant? One bite at a time.” ~ Author Unknown (quoted by Mike Postlewait – MBS President)

Don’t expect the other person’s behavior to improve immediately. If you are having serious problems with a co-worker or family member, you will have to make serious efforts to improve the situation. Take things a step at a time. Your efforts will not be in vain.

Implementing Management By Strengths is something that you “DO” not something that you have “DONE”, it is a continuing responsibility to those around you.

 “Mama, my intentions were the best.” ~ Randy Travis – Country Singer

Intending to do something won’t improve your marriage. Wanting to get along better with your boss won’t help. Talking about “considering other people’s temperament” will get you NOWHERE. You have to apply what you’ve learned.

JUST DO IT!!! You don’t have anything to lose!!

MBS Profiles for your family are FREE!

As we move into the holiday season, we at MBS would like to wish you all safe travels and happy reunions with family and friends. 

We would also like to remind and encourage everyone to take advantage of the free MBS Profile Reports that we offer for friends and family of our clients.  We have found over the years that one of the best ways to learn and practice the Management By Strengths program is to apply it with those people who we hold most dear.

Not only would sharing your Profile Reports with your family be fun, but you might actually be amazed at what you learn.  Not to be overly dramatic : ) but our gift to you is Understanding.  

Sharing MBS over the holidays will require a little bit of preparation on your part.  Since the odds are we won’t be in the office Christmas or Christmas Eve, you will need to get your account number and password ahead of time so that you can submit the surveys online.  The results online will come up immediately, as will the smiles and laughter.

Follow this link and we will gladly provide you with your account number and password.  We do ask that you use your “official” business email address as we can’t for example provide a client’s account information to someone with an email address like john794@hotmail.com.  If you aren’t a client yet, I’m sure we can work something out.

Merry Christmas everybody!

Married??

A very special area in our lives, that should be a major area of thankfulness, is our marriage. If it’s not, we have the power to do something about it. If your marriage needs help … help it!! Start focusing on your spouse and not on yourself. Selfishness in business results in lower productivity, lost sales and possibly the loss of your job. Selfishness at home leads to unhappiness, arguments and possibly to divorce. The opposite of “selfish” is “selfless” and the following suggestions point out a few easy ways that all of us can improve our marriages by focusing on our spouse.

If your spouse is a “High D” person and needs to be in a decision making role … INCLUDE HIM OR HER IN DECISIONS. Sincerely ask for their opinion … you’re a team and their input may be the difference between a right or a wrong decision. Two people butting heads accomplish little. Two people in agreement will accomplish more than they would have separately.

If your spouse is a “High E” person and neeeeeds to talk … LISTEN … OR BETTER YET, INTERACT! You must have listened once or you probably never would have gotten married. Listen even if you’re tired and want to watch your favorite TV show. You will never know what is going on with an extrovert if you don’t take the time to talk with them.

If your spouse is a “High P” person and hates to be rushed or to be put under pressure … EASE OFF A LITTLE. Stop complaining that they won’t jump when you come to them with last minute plans. Their focus on harmony will often cause them to “put up” with you and rush … but there are limits. Be aware of their schedule and plans, and things will go much more smoothly.

If your spouse is a “High S” person and at time isn’t as flexible as you would like, or they occasionally drive you crazy with what’s “right” and what’s “wrong” … LISTEN TO THEM!! Sincerely consider what they’re saying, because they probably know what they’re talking about. If you disagree with what they “know” is right, start by focusing on what you do agree on and build on that.

Considering the other person’s point of view is important in the work place as we strive to improve communication and increase productivity. It is imperative that we apply this same considerate attitude in our marriage.

A couple more “answers”

From the section on the recent survey asking “What problems are caused in your organization due to differences in communication styles?” we received a number of responses that followed a common theme: People’s feelings get hurt or they get offended … which leads to a breakdown in communication and a loss of trust.

Depending on where the specific relationship is at, there are two different approaches:

1. Avoid the misunderstanding in the first place

2. Fix the relationship that has already been damaged.

I’m going to focus on #1 here and try to get to #2 next time.

On our own side of the relationship equation it’s pretty easy for our feelings not to get hurt and to not get offended … just don’t take people’s comments in a negative way.  Easy as that!  Work on the assumption that the other person’s intent really isn’t to offend you.  They are just saying things their own way, you don’t need to react in a negative way either by saying something in response or by internalizing bad feelings.

As far as us not offending people or creating the misunderstandings, that will take a conscious decision to interact with people based on their temperament.

•  When dealing with a Direct person … Get to the point.  The High D person is way more interested in the END of your story than he/she is in the beginning and middle.  If you need something from them, rather than tell them what to do, ask them for their help in accomplishing the goal.

• When working with an Extroverted person … Listen to what they have to say and interact with them.  Cutting an Extrovert off mid sentence is rude and offensive.   Stay in contact, touch base and provide feedback which will demonstrate that you’re interested.

• When interacting with a Paced person … Avoid putting them under pressure.  They can deal with pressure, but they hate it. Be calm … don’t be bossy or confrontational.  Get with them early if there is something that you need.

• When dealing with a Structured person … Don’t tell them that they’re wrong, even indirectly.  If we shrug off their ideas or fail to consider their suggestions we are in essence telling them that their input wasn’t worth anything. Avoid criticizing.  Suggest ways to improve the process.  It’s not so much that “they’re wrong” as it is the “process is not working.”

Think of a person with whom you have a strained relationship. What is their High Trait?  If you focus on their temperament the next time you interact with them, things will improve.  Truthfully, things may improve slowly … but it WILL improve.  MBS 101 – It only takes one person to make an effort for a relationship to improve.

_____________________________

From the section of the survey “If you could ask Mike Postlewait, MBS president, any question, what would you ask him?” we received the question:  Can I retake the survey?  The quick answer is Yes.  The downside I guess would be that there is the same charge to retake the MBS Survey that you paid when you took the survey originally.

The upside is, you don’t really need to retake the survey because your temperament doesn’t change … it’s part of your human nature.  Over the 30+ years that I’ve been talking about their results with people who for one reason or another have retaken the survey, they almost always agree that the first time a person takes the survey is the most accurate reflection of their temperament.

“But I’ve changed!”… and I don’t dispute that.  As people go through life they learn more things, become more mature, gain more job experience, develop their skills in handling different situations, family dynamics change and the list can go on and on.  People change … we at MBS just don’t think that it’s their temperament that has changed.  The 10 year old Paced and Extroverted child will grow up to be a Paced and Extroverted adult … who will have changed in many, many ways.

Perhaps they’re PUTTING UP WITH US too!!

Misunderstandings, which by their very nature prevent agreement, damage relationships. Many misunderstandings stem from the fact that we listen to people based on OUR point of view.

We PUT UP WITH what we perceive as rude, wordy, dull or inflexible people and we allow these perceptions to poison our relationships, simply because we fail to consider that their “style” may be different than our own. On the other hand, we do expect people to treat us and listen to us based on WHO WE ARE … but often we don’t return the favor by treating and listening to others based on WHO THEY ARE. Perhaps they’re PUTTING UP WITH US too!!

Coming into agreement is our goal and improving understanding among people is a way to achieve that goal. To better understand others, we must consider anything “negative” or “not constructive” and determine what they really want to say. Most people don’t want to offend or annoy us and realizing that, we are able to focus on “what” they said and “why” they said it, rather than being turned off by “how” they said it. We need to get our focus off of ourselves and onto the other person.

Be Considerate of the Individual

Common sense tells us that behaving in a polite and considerate way towards others will lead to better relationships.

It takes effort to be polite. Rude and demanding customers, co-workers, clients and neighbors can often try our patience. However, regardless of what another person is saying, we can still be polite. What is required is self control.

Being considerate, on the other hand, requires an understanding of the other person. To have a healthy relationship, we must consider the other person’s needs. When speaking of temperaments, this means that we consider how the other person “needs” to be treated. His or her communication style and decision making process may be very different from our own. Working with everyone “Our Way”, instead of “Their Way”, will probably be the “Wrong Way” about 75% of the time.

Though we might be polite, insisting on treating someone in a way that is contrary to their temperament will still cause stress in a relationship. Constantly rushing a Paced person at the last minute or always hovering over a Direct person will put strain on your relationship. “Temperamently” speaking, we are being rude when we go against a person’s “Point of View”.

How did the MBS Profile Viewer work for you?

What was your experience?  Was it simple and easy to use?  Did you get the results you wanted?  Did you teach  other people on how to use it?  If so, how did they do?

I’d love for you to share your comments below about how you’ve used the Profile Viewer, the affect MBS has had either at work or with your family and also any ideas that you might have for upcoming videos.

Next week, I will be addressing comments and continue to offer tools, lessons, information … based on your feedback.

The complete Milk and Cookies story!

If you missed it on HBO, or just simply wanted to watch it again, here is a link to the “Milk and Cookies” story. 

Click Here to watch the Video

We’d love to read your comments … so post them below.  : )

MBS Relationship Principles discussed …

If you had a chance to watch my video on MBS relationship principles, you know there are 17 of them. The first ones I talked about were principles:

#1 To be able to communicate with others, we must listen to them from their point of view.

#2 We need to be in control of our own temperament trait

#8 Maturity is the ability and willingness to consider someone besides yourself.

#10 The most basic principle of Free Enterprise: “When you give, you will receive”

By just applying these four, you will get results. Go ahead and post your success or challenges below, and I will be responding to some of the posts.

Here is a linke to the Video

Mike

Questions from the survey

Again, I really do appreciate everyone taking the time to respond to the survey that I sent out this week.  There were lots of excellent, thoughtful questions! I’ve posted my answers to 3 here and am going to continue working on them.  I’ve also included some of the other results of the survey … I’d love to read any comments that you might like to post at the bottom. 

1. 92.5% of the people that responded knew their High Trait!
 

 

2. Comments to the question, “What problems are caused … due to differences in communication styles?” Mainly revolved around: “Miscommunication, taking other’s comments personally, misunderstandings, hurt feelings, resentment, reduction of productivity, daily “missed” communications and one thing said-but-another message heard.”

3. Here are a few of my answers to the question’s they said that they would ask me:

Do you feel it could be difficult for two direct individuals to communicate effectively considering both feel they have the best answers to issues? Is there a separate guide for best policies in this situation? 

True, two High D people might naturally tend to butt heads at times, but if you think about it, that can be true of any two people whose temperaments are in control of them and are unwilling to consider the other person’s point of view. There’s no separate guide for two Direct people who work together. As with any relationship, at least one of the people needs to be proactive and consider the other person’s point of view. Specifically, the High D person that is using his/her MBS skills with a fellow High D?  They should provide options and alternatives.  Perhaps try and meet the other High D halfway, considering a solution that incorporates both people’s opinions. The key for two High’s D to work effectively together lies in gaining each other’s respect. “My way or the highway” never works! 

How can I be a better supervisor and be understanding of someone who appears “rude”. 

When I see the word “rude” I usually think Directness.  The High D person is candid and at times comes on stronger than they realize.  That can be misunderstood and seen as being critical or “rude”.  The key word there is “misunderstood”.  The High D person DOES NOT want to offend you, which will in turn cause your working relationship to suffer and make it more difficult for them to accomplish their goals. Exactly like Jimmy Johnson said in the Milk and Cookies story, it’s NOT personal … and anyone working with a High D person needs to remember that.  But that’s the case with any of the high traits.  The Extrovert’s sense of humor might come across as rude if a comment is a little less funny than they intended.  The Paced person standing there listening, not interacting and then walking away as soon as you’re done talking would certainly seem rude to an Extrovert.  A Structured person inflexibly focusing on the rules and procedures rather than on the people doing the work might come across as “rude” or insensitive. The bottom line is that we hear things from our own point of view when we really need to consider where the other person is coming from.  People say “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder” … well, so is rudeness. 

How can I remember to use the MBS information in my interactions with co-workers? 

This question is right in line with the Relationship Principles theme … Visibility creates Accountability.  I would encourage you to make some simple visuals that will prompt you to remember your coworker’s high traits, their colors. The Online Profile Viewer is a good tool.  You can print out a MBS Team Sheet or Profile Comparison’s.  The more you practice, the easier it will become to apply MBS consistently. Riding a bike is difficult at first, but with a commitment to learn and then practice … it becomes second nature.  MBS is the same way.  At first you’ll need to work at it, but the more you apply your MBS skills, more natural it will become and the less effort it will take. 

Thanks again,
Mike Postlewait 

PS: If you didn’t take the 7 Question Survey yet, you can follow this link: 

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/YXBRM9R